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I once was lost but He found me!
I'm a 34 year old mother of 2 and I have been married for 15 years. I thought I had it all and was happy. So I thought. Even tho I've had a wonderful marriage, healthy children, and great family, there has always been something missing. I tried filling the void with just about everything out there. Drugs, sex, alcohol, and gambling. No matter how high, drunk, or how much money I would spend I would always wake up the next morning feeling worse than I did when I had started the day before. I'd also wake up with a lot less money and a lot more worries too. I had been saved a long time ago but never truley knew what that meant. When my grandmother who raised me passed away I was hooked on cocaine. Her funeral is a blurr. I decided the day we buried her that I was done. I hit my knees and just like He said He got me through that time. But just like I was so good at doing, when the hurt dulled I went back to my old friends and my old way of living. I put Jesus on the backburner. If I were to list all the times He saved my life we'd be here a long, long time. So needless to say, just like a child I had to learn for myself (that thing called free will). For 4 years I would use for a while and then quit. I stopped the coke but then I got started on pain pills. I would always justify it by saying "it's not as bad" but I now know it's all the same. I was miserable and my family was miserable. Finally about a week before this Christmas I came to the realization that I was sick and I needed help. Not help I could get from anyone around me. I was so tired of being sick and tired. I had tried every other route and it all led me back to the same road. I hit my knees and cried and cried and cried. I asked Jesus to take over. I was so tired. I knew that day just as I know now that I can't do it. So for over a month now He's doing and continues to do great things in my life. I can smile and mean it. I don't have to lie. I don't have steal. I tell my family and friends I love them everyday just like I know He loves me. I don't know what He has in store for me but I know it's full of happiness and peace like I've never known. God is GREAT! I'm living, walking proof!
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